Wednesday, March 16, 2011

What?? Another milestone?

I now have over 2000 views, which means a lot of you are looking at my page!! I hope you like it and keep coming back as I go on and on about what I hate. Next up is how I hate how the US makes international disasters about the US. Oh there was a major quake in Japan? How can we avoid major quakes in the US? What would it be like if it happend in the US? So dumb...

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

#16 (Not so) Jiffy Lube

An oxymoron
As the name implies, this is supposed to be a shop that lubes your car in a jiffy. Then how come when i drive up and the lovely mechanic asks me if I would like a signature oil change today and I say yes, that it takes forever to get to the point of actually doing the work.

I get that you offer lots of other services beyond the simple oil change but seriously, when I come in and say JUST AND OIL CHANGE, don't sit me down by the computer and go throught EVERY SINGLE thing that could POSSIBLY be wrong. That is to say, my belt may need to be replaced but after inspection it doesn't need to be replaced. I kid you not but the conversation goes like this:

JL: would you like to use our signature oil service today?

Me: Why yes, I would like to only do the oil change today.

JL: Great! why don't you sit down by the computer and we can get you started.

Me: Sure thing, I'm in a rush...hence coming "Jiffy" lube.

JL: No problem sir, we will have you out of here soon... now looking at your car, there is high millage, so would you like to go with our high millage oil?

Me: Sure, whatever it needs to get out of here quick.

JL: Not a problem, here's what the manufacture suggests as far as maintenance services - You should probably change the transmission fluid as it's 30,000 miles overdue.

Me: I'm going to pass on that.

JL: Oh ok, well it also says here that you should flush your coolant, we can do that for $130

Me: Nah, just the oil please.

JL: Right... well it also says that you should change your belt for $90 extra.

Me: Does the belt look bad?

JL: Well we will check it of course but the computer says that it should be changed.

Me: Then no, I will just do the oil today.

JL: Gotcha well let's walk over here where we have removed your air filter and in cabin air filter, see how dirty that in cabin air filter is? You're breathing that...

Me: Well considering one side is dirty, then thats the air i'm not breathing, in a sense the filter is doing it's job...

JL: Would you like us to replace any of the air filters?

Me: No... just. the. oil.

JL: Alrighty, have a seat inside and we will let you know when it's all done.

- 15 minutes later

JL: Ok sir, you were a quart low and we also found that one of your license plate lights was out, can we replace that for $20?

Me: No... I am able to change a light bulb at cost ($3) by myself.

JL: Ah... well here's how much you owe, now we have a service plan where you get your third oil change for free if you sign up.

Me: No thanks, I'm in a rush.

JL: Ok, also one more thing, If you would like us to use a gasoline additive to clean your fuel lines and injectors you can get your 5th oil change for free.

Me: No, no, no.... I want to pay and get out of here!

So as you can see it's a gauntlet of getting past the options and getting my oil changed. I hate how these places offer additional services that I don't want or don't need. Sure, I understand there are idiots out there that don't know the basic maintenance scheduling on their vehicle (protip: look in the manual), but when I ask for oil change only, I mean it!

This guy knows what's going on!
So now I'm just going to change my oil by myself because at least I know I wont be cornered into wasting money on additional services!

Friday, February 25, 2011

#15 Fast food toys

I don't get it, therefore I hate it. Let me ask you how hard is it to get you to go to a bright and colorful place that smells amazing and has food that tastes like it was sent down from heaven directly to your mouth? Think of the McDonalds french fries and how they are so very crisp and salty. Or the Big Mac with it's special sauce, yeah SPECIAL, meaning it's made from the love and care of angels.

An angel dropping down Special Sauce just for me
So why is it that fast food places have to add more incentives to children to come eat the food there. Which kid complained about the food so much that they needed to add a toy to sweeten the pot? I just hate the way that these places market to kids because it seems like such a low blow! You know what the fast food places should do instead, incentivize toys for me because I actually know better than to eat the crappy food they are making! I guess they already do that (McDonald's Monopoly anyone?).

Came for the toys, stayed for the fries and drink....and burger, and shake and mcnugets, and his brother's arm
I don't think there is anyone making millions off of the toys they saved as a kid and if they are then I am REALLY happy for them. Because it's going to cost millions in medical bills to correct what years of "happy" meals have done to their body.
Best pick-up lines of all time: "come check out my happy meal toy collection...yeah I collected all 4 and then some"
I guess I hate how fast food is so readily available and how healthy food costs so much more. I hate that my interests are not a priority for our beloved clown! Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to hop on the PETA bandwagon and talk about unhappy meals and how the chickens aren't really chickens. I just hate that an American icon is doing nothing more than setting us up for an early death.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

#14 Nudity censorship in the US vs. Europe

How is it that in the USA you can watch a murder on a TV show with the full fledged gory parts or a person shooting, stabbing, hanging, or otherwise killing another person? BUT! Show a nipple and the whole protocol for delaying live TV is changed and/or the TV show is yanked off the air if it made it past the barrage of censorship prior to airing.
Here look at this dead body rotting, but make sure her nipples are covered!

I don't understand how come nudity is such a taboo, yet watching someone die or witnessing the most violent scenes of rape (minus nudity) and fighting are allowed. Look at British TV, they show nudity all the time! Here is a rundown of the top 5 shows that Telegraph reviewed in 2008:

1 How to Look Good Naked (Ch4)
The great pioneer of TV nudity for all is the spectacularly camp Gok Wan who advises women on make-up, self esteem, and how to make the most of their bangers ("Whether you're packing a couple of zeppelins under your vest top or packing it full of chicken fillets."). A good time was had by all.

2 Miss Naked Beauty (Ch4)
Gok Wan strikes again -- this time getting 7000 women to enter a natural beauty contest without make-up. In the voting a six foot two inch goth with tattoos lost out to a pretty student with freckles. So what's new?

3. Dawn Gets Naked (BBC3)
The laudable aim of the presenter Dawn Porter was to defy the tyranny of airbrushed beauty and celebrate the reality of the female body. After an investigative tour of plastic surgeons, striptease classes and nudist colonies, she enlisted dozens of women to join her in travelling naked around London on an open-top double-decker bus

4. The Great British Body (ITV)
Presented by Trinny Woodhall and Susannah Constantine, this programme had a bewildering range of objectives. They were to celebrate the British and their bodies, get everyone to appear naked in a human sculpture, discover everything about the British body today, organise a great British body road show and hold "the biggest ever British body audit."

5. Naked News (you can catch it on YouTube)
Out on the wilder extremes of the digital platform buried among the plethora of adult channels is Naked News which combines striptease and news reading. The trouble is that the nudity stops you listening to the news and the reports on tsunamis or terrorist bombs stops most of the erotic buzz.

In addition there is an art show in British TV that shows nude models, so in a non-sexual way there is nudity. I'd like to see PBS air a show about figure drawing!

Nudity in a non-sexual way

I know there is a thing called cable where nudity is prevelant, but not everybody has cable. Everyone in England can get the channels listed above. It goes beyond tv, look at The Sun newspaper (  and check out page 3... there is a topless woman in there everyday! Also note that she's isnt photoshoped like the women in the US are! You get to see veins and other parts of the body that every woman really has!

I hate that it seems appropriate in the US to have uber violence but not show the naked human body. Maybe this is why there are so many teen pregnancies over here because the body is so hidden, kids can't wait to discover what all the hype is about! I know i know, the US has tons of violence too and they show that all the time on TV, but I just think the US can learn something from Europe and show a little more skin!

I just find it interesting that nudity, especially a woman's breasts, is so taboo when they are a source for food and are not genitalia at all! Both sexes have breasts/nipples but it's women that have to cover up.

Anyway this has been a long rant with not nearly enough naked people presented in this post. I'm afraid if I post nudity then my blogger account will be suspended or something dumb like that!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Dear people who actually read this!

It's been a busy week and the number one thing I hate is when people don't update their blog! Makes me want to kick babies...

googling an image for kicking babies is actually harder than it seems
I know there are a couple of blogs here that are about the things they hate and they haven't updated since the begining of internet time! I hate those people because they took the good url's! Stupid haters aren't hating enough.

For example...

No updates since 2003! I hate them, how nice would it be to have a url that actually represented my blog, but no some 14 year old on his mom's AOL gets there first in 2003. P.S. you nostalgia you lose

Kids, this is how the interwebz got to our houses, ever...single...week.
So in closing I'm going to give you the excuse of I'm busy and I'm not going to update today (see the paradox in that!). Although my next rant is going to be about how American TV wont allow nudity (vs. European countries) yet we will allow intense violence and gore. WTF?

Until then here is the closest to nudity on American TV....

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Past 100 followers!

I don't know when it happened, but today I broke past 100 followers! Now up to 113! Thanks for the commitment and I hope to bring you guys some good stuff to laugh about and join my rage!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Show me your belly, bitch.

"If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever. Unless you marry her."

"When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts."

"Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella."

These are all prime examples of "guy code". That code that apparently all guys come pre-programmed knowing. What many a lay-person does not realize, however, is that there is a "girl code", and ours is just as relevant, and not to be undermined. Ever. For example, "A girl is never in any case to date a friends ex or a guy who she was really into." Not much different than something you might see in "guy code", right? Well there is one little section of the code that I'd like to discuss today, and I like to call it, "Show me your belly, bitch".

See, in the dog world when two dogs are playing, or even meeting for the first time, one of them will usually roll over and show their belly as a sign of submission. A way to say, "Hey - its cool, you're the boss, and I acknowledge that". It is just the order of things. This is also true in girl-world. When meeting an ex-boyfriend's new love for the first time, the old love must express some subtle little comment, or gesture, that says, "I stand down". It is never anything big - even a simple, "I love you in that dress, I could never pull that off with my huge hips, " is a simple "showing of the belly". This little comment or gesture is so subtle, that it is barely a whisper. Much like most humans can not hear a dog whistle, most men will never notice that tiny whisper. But to a woman, it is loud and clear.

Now, I am not a jealous woman, by any means. "Yeah, right, all women say that", you are thinking. But I'm not. I am happy to let my fiance go to strip clubs, have guys nights out, and even be friends with some of his ex-girlfriends. I am confident in myself and in our relationship, and I trust my fiance implicitly. But here's the thing with ex-girlfriends, love interests, and crushes - they have to show me their belly. That one little gesture, the "waving of the white flag", that says, "I understand you are the new woman in his life, and I am just here to be cool and not cause any sort of drama." Examples of this that I've already gotten? Congratulating him about our engagement on his Facebook page, noting that his new fiancee is: a) so pretty, b) seems to be making him so happy, c) seems like a perfect fit. Making a point to say, "Next time you are in town, I'd love to meet your fiancee, she seems great!"

For the most part, his women of the past have been obedient little girls - falling in line with the natural order of things and showing me their little bellies - clearing the way for us to have pleasant exchanges; complimenting each others hair, trading recipes, making coffee invites, comparing vaginas (just kidding - but c'mon - that is what most guys hope we are doing when we hang out).

But then there are a few deviants. These stubborn little divas have ignored the code - and its time that they be called out so that they can properly roll over and show me their bellies:

Dear Miss "We kissed once, years ago" - next time you invite my fiance out, it had better include an invite for me (as opposed to the last 3 times you asked him to hang out). Chances are good that I will decline, because spending an afternoon with you sounds as appealing as a pelvic exam - but the invite better be there. Show me your belly, bitch.

Dear twit of an ex-girlfriend - I don't care if you are still friends with him. Mostly because I've seen the nude photos you sent him while you two were together and I'm pretty sure he's over his 70's porn bush-phase (really, a $10 investment can get you the Intuition razor - it's surrounded in soap which shields all your sensitive bits from getting nicked- check it out sometime). But blatantly ignoring me during exchanges that I've made directly to you will not make me disappear - sorry. And remember - I hold the strings to which ex-twits he keeps around, and which ones he doesn't (and before you boys reading this rally together some sort of "man's rights" protest because it sounds like I've got his balls in a vice-grip - he holds those strings as well, and I have happily cut off many a guy from my life at my fiance's request. It goes both ways.) Show me your belly, bitch.

Dear undergraduate who friends requested him on Facebook a mere hour after you two spoke in the grad lab - I realize that could be an innocuous gesture. I also realize that it didn't take you long after your exchange in the grad lab, to decide to stop the studying that you were doing when he walked in, look up his email address, and track him down on Facebook. And that is cool....that is totally cool. But you are on notice. You have a precious window after which you take notice of his relationship status saying "engaged" to show me your belly. Bitch.

Whoring myself out part 2

Ok if you have an iPhone iPod touch or iPad then you can make some (a small amount) of cash just by downloading and opening the apps. I didn't believe it but it went directly to my paypal within a few minutes of opening the app! Check it out!


Just hit 1000 views! Thanks everyone for looking at what I hate!!!

#13 People who took one course in college and now are an expert

It goes a little something like this:

Stacy - "I'm thinking about going vegetarian, because I've heard its better for your health not to eat so much red meat"

Gina - "OMG Stacy I really don't think you should do that because you probably won't get the same amount of vitamins and minerals"

Stacy - "Oh really? I thought vegetarians were healthier because our bodies can't really digest large amounts of meat?"

Gina - "No that's what "they" want you to think, listen I took a Nutrition class and learned all there is to know about healthy eating"

Stacy - "But aren't you a communications major?"

Gina - "Yeah, but I took it as an elective to expand my knowledge of the subject"

Stacy - "Oh really? Just the one class?"

Gina - "Yeah, Nutrition 10, it was an introductory class so it was very general and I learned about EVERYTHING, plus the professor was really smart and told us how not to trust the government and hippies alike. He eats meat and told us all how to eat right, so I trust him"

Stacy - "Wow I trust you because you are well informed and obviously know what you're talking about!"

Gina - "Stacy stick with me because I know what's best. Now a bigger question is what douche do you use because I've been told it's coming back in style and I want to make sure I'm well read on the subject too"

Orrrrrrr something like that. I hate it when people take one class in college and all of a sudden are some expert on the subject. You took a freaking introductory class and think you know everything because you know a tiny bit more than I know. Google is my friend and I will do the research that perhaps your class didn't cover.

Daily Show's John Hodgman - Resident Expert
It's not the fact that you're informing me. Heck I've informed people on beer and brewing because I took a class on it. It's the fact that you're coming across as if you're an expert on the matter. As if you teach the subject or something, or that you spent at least four years in college studying it. Don't press your views on me and make me feel bad about making a choice or saying something because you took one class on it.

Your the kind of person I would like to have on my team during trivia night, because I know for a fact that you retain the most obscure knowledge of a wide range of subjects. Partly due to the fact that you didn't have a clue what you wanted to do when you got to college, partly due because you went to college because you were told to and HAD to, not because you wanted to, partly due because you have no drive in life and no one listens to you. So with that being said, stop trying to push what you think is right on me, instead just inform me and leave it up to me to make a decision.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Top 10 Bizarre or Frivolous Lawsuits

Top 10 Bizarre or Frivolous Lawsuits

Click the link above for something I really hate! As with the news article about the guy suing for electromagnetic interference, this link shows you all of the people I hate in one concise article!

Increased viewship!

I am up to 72 followers! Thanks to all of you for your interest in both my rants, but also those who guest ranted! Keep spreading the word! Oh and not to make this a lovey dovey post, I hate all of you!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

How to spot a Male loser!

*photo may or may not be representational of my actual self.

1. You start your profile with: “I don‘t really like talking about myself, but here goes….” How pitiful, insecure and low self esteem-ish can you be? This is a dating site, what the “F” else are you going to talk about???

2. You work hard but play even harder!! Can Mr. Cliche come out and play?? Any guy who uses this term has no hope, they are dull to the bone (if they even have a spine).

3. You mention the beach or the ocean…. Walking on it, ect. Do you like breathing air too? Great, we have that in common also! The only thing that doesn’t like the beach is a whale because it usually means they are dead or about to be.

4. You have a cat, poodle, yorkie, chihuahua or any other type of animal a woman or homosexual typically has, in your pictures. Unless you have an excuse like your mom’s last dying wish was for you to care for her precious Schnookums… you are gay! Women love puppies, not grown men with fluffy dogs and especially not cats! Anything but cats!

5. You are really proud you are old and still ride your Harley like a tough guy. You make it clear that women must love to ride because you are hard as nails and free as a bird… society can not contain you, you are a rebel!! When I see an old dude on a motorcycle, I imagine a dog hanging it’s head out a car window with it’s loose, droopy face flapping in the wind. But hey, both look pretty happy while doing it! And another thought that crosses my mind is VIENNA SAUSAGE…. a very small weenie, surrounded by metal and full of sodium… gross!

6. You start your profile saying you just got out of prison, are fat, bald and have no teeth. And then say “Just kidding, now that I have your attention!!!” HARDY HAR HAR!!! Really, are you that stupid?? REALLY?? If you can find a woman who thinks that’s humorous, marry that stupid bitch. I strongly suggest that one of you gets your tubes tied.

7. You are a tatted bad boy. You claim to only date super models with your drug dealin' income and wear a bandana like you are in a gang. You are throwing hand signs and usually in the background of your pics, is a flowery couch with a knitted shawl draped across it, that looks like you’re at grandma’s house. Wow, you go tough guy… tell Grandma Hilda I said hi! You probably live in her basement and she's too terrified to throw you out. She's counting the days until you get arrested so she can change her phone number.

8. You have shirtless pics taken in your bathroom that looks like a pubic hair bomb went off in it! There's enough toothpaste spray on that mirror to empty a windex bottle to get it clean! With a bathroom that dirty, you definitely have creepy crawlers in your crack!

9. You want a woman with a good head on her shoulders. Well I don’t know about you, but most people’s heads are located in the same place, whether or not they are good heads is another matter. Or is that a new way of saying you just want good head?! Technically you should be looking for a woman with a good head on her neck, because no one’s head is located on their shoulders. Although there are probably a few in the middle east, somewhere in a small village, if you can afford the airfare.

10. Last but not least, your main pic is of you making a funny face or wearing a clown wig. You want women to think you are a different kind of guy, the life of the party, never a dull moment! Life is a bouquet of spontaneity and laughs when you are around. This guy has to be cool as hell! His picture is rock solid proof! RIGHT?!!?? WRONG! Women want men to be like Fabio or someone hot and sexy, duh… not Goofy or Dorky the Clown or someone who is gonna fart in our face a light a match. Go play with your chihuaua…….. I meant your dog you idiot.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

#12 "Just buy a Mac" people

Ok we know this debate right? Mac vs. PC owners and both thinking they have the ultimate machine. Well I hate it when the Mac owners all of a sudden impale you with their opinion on purchasing choice when I have an issue with my PC.

"Just buy a Mac, I never have gotten a virus"
"Just buy a Mac, mine hasn't crashed ever"

Ok well first of all your Mac inst invincible because I know for damn sure you get the swirly ball of death and not to mention the Kernel Panic which means your beloved machine crashed.
Swirly Ball of Death
Kernel Panic


I rarely get the Blue Screen Of Death (BSOD) and that's usually because I am using my computer for something it's not supposed to do. This is uncommon with your Mac because most of you don't dare venture into modifying or upgrading your Mac, simply because it's not made to. No it's made to last a longer time than a PC but it costs twice or three times as much!

What a steal!

So to those who say "Just buy a Mac" I say do the math!! Look I have a pretty decent machine for $650 with an aftermarket graphics card and all the things I need to do video editing and gaming (more on this later). Why the hell would I spend over $2,500 on a comparable machine? I could stockpile spare PC's for when I ever have one crash for that money and for what? A little security of not crashing? Besides at the rate Apple produces new models for it's "followers" (see: cult) they subliminally make you buy a new computer when the Mac you have is built to last.

Games? Oh if you're a Mac owner, you are limited to the latest and greatest games out there because you're such a small market! I am a gamer like many other people out there, so buying a Mac would literally be for Microsoft Office, internet use, and possibly video editing. Again, tell me the cost-benefit of buying a Mac over a fully functional and easily upgradable PC?

Mac's are the Lexus' of the computer world. Ever look at a new Lexus under the hood? You can't see the engine because the people at Lexus decided to clean it up with plastic nonetheless. Macs are the same way, dressed up all nice so people can have a fashion statement rather than a raw machine.

Lexus, under the hood...where's the engine?
So please, don't tell me to just go buy a Mac when something goes wrong with my PC because for ME at least, the cost-benefit of my PC is way higher than a Mac!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

#11 Aberdouchery Plumes

Like mine, many towns in North America are afflicted with an Aberdouchery: a clothier catering to the "fashion" sensibilities of young douchebags who aspire to look exactly the same as their friends, and spend copious amounts of money doing so. Yes, the term is a mashup of the time-honored haberdasher with the modern chain-store Mecca for said douchebags, which shall remain nameless here to avoid corporate hate mail (but, coincidentally, sounds a lot like Ubercrappy and Glitch).

Said store is the center of Kardashian-inspired "class" for young America, and although they want you to see their stores (although, not their clothes by the looks of their tastelessly clotheless models), they really REALLY want you to smell them. From blocks away. At least. Otherwise-mindless Aberdouches clearly share some traits of tracking dogs: they love checking to see that their balls are still there in plain view of the public, and they can pick up a scent from a mile away. They often do both of these things with their noses, although Aberdouches share none of the other higher cognitive abilities of tracking dogs, I'm told.

Aberdoucheries atomize their stench and cast it out -- way out -- with not a care in the world. They spray that crap in the store every 20 minutes. They even have ceiling-mounted douchestenchers to do it automatically. You can smell that crap many blocks away when the wind is right. What I fail to understand is this: smoking is verboten in most aspects of non-flyover culture, like the one I live in. So how can it be OK at all for Aberdouchers to foul the free-breathing rights of everyone within the same ZIP code as their stores?

This I fail to understand. If you smoke in a public place, you might as well do so while openly snorting cocaine and aggressively panhandling, because all of those things are equal nowadays. Clean air, breathing free, and smoke-free downtowns are all the rage. If smoking is an indicator of future cancer, Aberdouchery plumes should certainly be considered an indicator of current cultural decay.

Lucky for the rest of us, according to this article, some of the chemicals in Aberstench have been shown to reduce sperm counts in adult men. There is some justice in the world.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Things I hate in the news

I hate it when I hear how stupid some people are and how they go about it by suing others because of their own stupidity! You know what I'm talking about, the stupid McDonald's case where the woman spilled hot coffee on her lap, WTF? You're stupid and I pretty much hate everything you represent. Frivolous lawsuits!

See this news article below about a person who is claiming they suffer from the use of gadgets and devices that emit electromagnetic fields. Apparently this person suffers from electromagnetic fields and his neighbor is the main cause of this. So he wants his neighbor to turn of their electronic gadgets and WiFi network when not in use! Apparently he is going under the Americans with Disabilities Act to aide his case. Oh and to add insult to injury, the people who are affected with this "disability" have a website...which if you didn't catch on already, uses computers/emits electromagnetic waves.

See this article for more info!
Huffington Post

A Santa Fe man who alleges he suffers from "electromagnetic allergies" is suing his neighbor because she refuses to turn off her gadgets, he claims.
According to the Santa Fe Reporter, Arthur Firstenberg, the plaintiff, has been sleeping at friends' homes or in his car to avoid the electromagnetic waves created by his neighbor Raphaela Monribot's cell phone, wireless network, computer, compact fluorescent lightbulbs and dimmer switches.
Firstenberg claims he suffers from Electromagnetic Sensitivity, or EMS, which induces "nausea, vertigo, diarrhea, ringing in the ears, severe headaches and body aches, crippling joint pains, insomnia, impaired vision, impaired muscular control," as well as other potentially life-threatening ailments.
According to Firstenberg, he first started experiencing symptoms when he was in college in the 1980s and has been a vocal opponent of wireless systems being established in public buildings, though he has met with little success.
When Firstenberg first hired Monribot to cook meals for him in his home, Monribot had initially made concessions by turning off her phone and computer. However, when she moved in next door, she refused to keep her phone, computer and wireless network turned off when not in use. When asked if she could use a landline instead of her iPhone, Firstenberg says Monribot "flatly refused without explanation."
The battle against Wi-Fi isn't one Firstenberg is fighting alone.
He's part of a group of Santa Fe residents who are pursuing legal means to remove all Wi-Fi hotspots from public locations because they claim the wireless internet waves aggravate their "electromagnetic allergies." To add merit to their case, they are classifying their "allergy" or "sensitivity" as a disability and are claiming the Americans with Disabilities Act, which prohibits discrimination based on disability.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Just for fun

This isn't an "official" things I hate post, but I thought it would be funny to post some really stupid answers to game show questions. Enjoy!

Wheel of fortune fail on pronunciation even with ALL the letters up!

Maybe this kid should have slept a little before going on the show

Marriage WRECK!

#10 SMUG Prius owners

I should clarify on this one. I don't hate the car so much as the people who think they are better than everyone because they drive a Prius. I hate that you think a hybrid is the answer to world problems because you saw it on the news or read it in a magazine article. I think South Park's episode on Smug Alert sums it up pretty well

Yes you drive a hybrid but it still takes gas and you're still going to Costco and other big box stores that require a hell of a lot of energy to run and an enormous amount of fuel to truck in all the goods. So what are you really doing with a Prius? I hate that people buy the car as a statement because it's a hybrid only body style.

This is in comparison to other hybrids which use existing body styles. The Nissan Altima, the Honda Civic, even the Ford Escape and Chevy Tahoe have hybrid models that you wouldn't immediately know by looking at them. Also the amount of smug vanity plates that these people get for their halfhearted attempt of saving the environment is equally ridiculous. Ok we GET IT your car is better for the environment! Do you need 7 characters to express that in the form of your vanity plate?

Why not just put stickers all over you car to say what you feel rather than let it be subtly known that because you drive a Prius you are holier than thou!

Oh wait, someone already has:

Let it be known that when there is a fully electric car out that is affordable for the masses, you can bet your ass that those smug Prius owners will be in electric cars talking crap about anything with a gas engine.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

#9 Downtown cyclist

Ok I'm all for sustainability and using bikes as another mode of transportation. But I hate those bikers that are found in downtown areas who think they own more of the road than the drivers. Again, nothing against the idea of sharing the road, it's just this segment are often douche bags.

Bicycle Rights Bicycle Rights! If you don't know about the show Portlandia, then you should watch it to understand EXACTLY who I am talking about with this segment called Bicycle Rights!

I hate how they stop at stop lights where they Track Stand as if the ground is made of molten lava. I'm sure there is a good reason for it, but they look like douche bags who sometimes cant hold the bike still in place and look like they are having an epileptic fit!

Stop trying to hold still by not putting your feet down, you look like a douche.

So let it be known that I hate this particular type of cyclist and you give a bad name to the other millions of cyclist who manage to co exist with cars on the road.

#8 Nascar

It's at the butt of a joke more often than not! But watching cars that have the same specifications go around an oval all day sounds as fun as helping the old neighbor lady move her furniture.

 I hate Nascar and what it stands for. I mean it's easy to make fun of the fans because it's easy to make fun of rednecks in general. I see there is some potential in the "sport" but either change the track or change the cars!
The Rolex 24 at Daytona is probably the closest thing to real racing that the track and maybe the fans will see! The cars are different and that's what makes it cool.

I hate people that say they go for the big crashes, because its not guaranteed that they will crash! The only crashing you can count on are the fans, like above, where they are just as much as a spectacle as the V8's rounding the track.

Formula 1 is great! Cars are similar but different enough and of course they go around a track that has turns! I also hate that NASCAR is so American and not in any way international. Formula 1 and the Rolex 24 and Le Mans are international events in which people in other countries actually care about. Why does it seem NASCAR is so ass backwards and can't compete with the world of motorsport?

So I'm still deciding whether I hate NASCAR or the fans at the moment, but you get my drift on this one.

 ps I hate the Euro trash sound of that video I posted, but then again I love the sound of F1 cars.

Whoring myself out

I dare you to click on the ad below. I DARE YOU!

#7 Redbox DVD lines

I understand you want your $1 to go to a good movie, but why the hell do you need to stand at the machine and read EVERY SINGLE review/synopsis?

I hate people that stand there and read every movie title and associated synopsis. These movies have been out before, these aren't new movies. The reason you are here is because you didn't see the movie in theaters OR!! you did and you wanted to see it again. Both of these reasons don't justify you taking 10 to 15 minutes browsing while I am waiting to return my movie. That's another thing I hate; there is one hole to receive and return your movies. They should make another slot to bypass the dumb ass who hasn't heard of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and is reading the reviews.

You guys realize that redbox is online and you can read all those reviews before coming to the machine, right? You do know you can reserve a movie online and simply go and pick it up from your box right? So please know your movies before wasting our time!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

#6 Justin Bieber

I hate Justin Bieber and not as a person really, but what he represents. Seriously the music industry can slap a brand on any person and sell the crap out of them with very little talent. What is it that people like about this kid? When will his voice break? These are the questions we should all be asking!

Seriously kid, go back to school so you can at least understand what the word German means! I hate people who blame it on the host's accident, but he clearly points out the word "German" on the card!

I understand he's still a kid, and maybe that's why I hate him as a celebrity and not him as a person. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and I just hope the next big thing to come to teeny boppers is a little more educated and less cocky.

Changing it up...

I know you all have felt the hate, but what do you love?

I love the iPhone (aka the Jesus phone) because it was the leader in innovation with touchscreen phones. Although I hate how simple features were left out and that it lacks now in some technologies that other phones have taken advantage of. I love the iPhone but hate Macs. Anyone else in this demographic?

#5 Idiot drivers who come into the fast lane for no reason

This isn't my video, but it partially explains why I hate drivers who don't know how to drive. Particularly I hate when I am driving in the fast lane and there is only one car in the slow lane on a two way highway. And out of NOWHERE he/she decides to cut in front of me when there is no traffic in front of them in the slow lane. What is that? Am I being punked when this happens? Is Ashton Kutcher in that car??? I hate it when people are not aware of their surroundings while driving. You're "in control" of a ton of metal and gas going at 65 mph and that's how you drive?

Read this sign! It's there for a reason! Stay to the right and be aware of your surroundings? When are they going to make cars with idiot sensors? I know they have blind spot assists on Volvo and Infiniti, but seriously they need to up it to Changing Lanes Assist.

UPDATE: I took this video the other day to show what I mean about slow people in the fast lane!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

#4 Door to door religious people

I really don't think I'm alone in hating those people who come to your door and sell you religion as if it was a magazine subscription or an Oreck vacuum cleaner.

Go away! It's not like I'm sitting at home wondering which religion I should pick and then all of a sudden you come a knocking and I feel rejoiced! It's 2011, everyone has the freaking internet now, do you not think I can go online and choose my religion that way? Seriously are you using the telegraph as your other means of communication to the masses?

I hate that you wear semi-professional attire. Short sleeved button up shirts with or without a pocket protector and a tie and backpack. What is this ensemble? What the hell is in your pocket? Why do you have your religious book with you? Are you expecting to bust out a passage from that book/bible and expect people to relate and drink the Kool Aid with you?

In addition I hate those dumb comics you hand out as if to get my hopes up about some good reading on the toilet only to see there is a blatant message hiding behind a catchy title and graphic. If I want scare tatics such as "Are we nearing Armageddon?" I will turn on the news to see 1000's of birds falling out of the sky. You're tying to go head to head with the big media corporations on fear, good luck!

So please, stop coming to our door, because there is no way we are going to join your club. In the meantime I'll buy some other fiction books from Barnes & Nobel or something!

#3 Women who wear low cut tops but give you dirty looks for looking at them.

I hate it when girls show off their girls and then get mad at you for looking!

Seriously, how can you not look at girls chesticles when they wear things like this? Ok fine, you have them, you can control men with them, they offer a secondary storage area, and basically you benefit from having more of them show. But why, oh why do you wear low cut tops and then give us guys the stink eye (or drop a class in my case) because someone was casually looking in that area? Here's the logic, you're attracting attention to yourself and guys will give you that attention so you have to be fully prepared for what that entails.

Ladies the ball is in your court with this one, either cover them up or start to sell advertising space to recoup the loss of self esteem (sorry to those who are A cups).

#2 Stores that start selling holiday stuff as one holiday ends.

It's the day after Christmas and I see this:

What the hell is this? I hate it when stores decide to shove the next big holiday down our consumer throats before we have time to breath. Thanks for giving me the option to spend what's left of my Christmas money on yet another holiday. Anyone notice that if you don't buy a gift for someone on these holidays, your ostracized and accused of not being in the "holiday spirit"? Since when does how much I spend equal how much I like or love you? I also hate how candy and other fattening things are a staple of Valentines day, do the marketing people not know how women feel about their weight? A giant box of candy for a woman is the equivalent of getting her a LED HDTV, in the end I'm the one enjoying it!

Listen, if I want to buy something early I will do it online. Start selling this stuff on February 13th for all those guys that forgot to get their woman something. I'm going to think geek to get something unique for my lady.

LetZ Ztart ThiZ Off Rite

This site is dedicated to the things I hate. I say things with an S because there are a lot of them and in a sense of irony, all the website names I tried were already taken. Hence the "Z" in things. So what better way to start out by saying, I hate when people replace "S" with "Z", what are you trying to achieve?! It's as bad as changing other letters to numbers and punctuation as seen below.
Pleaze stop this trend before you accidentally forget how to spell all together.